We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
