Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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