did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
