Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
