he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
