my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
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Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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