she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
