You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize