I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
