I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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