Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
