I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
zippers are such a cool invention
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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