i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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