I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
