This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
