the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize