bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
