He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
