she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
