I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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