at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
