Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
