and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
