Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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