I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
