please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do vagina's smell?
My balls are so social today.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
