i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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