69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
