tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
