Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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