i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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