Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
