your room smells of hookers.
And success
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
