there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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