Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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