My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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