Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
