It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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