new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize