I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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