Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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