That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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