He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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