I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
