For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
