The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
