dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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