You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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