It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No subtext here. People are naked.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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