tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Someone came in the potted fern
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize
