yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
