I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
