and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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