I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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