dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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