if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
