so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover