my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together