Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian