loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
