john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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